These trainers look cool, and I love them. Pity they express their love for me by mangling my feet, though.

Look, my Facebook experience is being ruined by this. You may think these ‘inspirational’ pictures are great, and feel the need to post them on your wall at the time, but they are tedious and insipid and meaningless.

And they block out any real news I may have from my facebook friends, which is sadly lacking at the moment.

What? I’m sitting in a restaurant, you’re the waitress, and I just ordered some food. It didn’t appear to be that odd, so why are you looking at me like I’ve just grow two heads?

Woah. I came here for a cup of coffee but my experience is ruined by your piercing, nasal voice.

You’re sitting across a tiny table from your friends; you don’t have to shout.

Why is it I can have hundreds of good ideas when I’m supposed to be doing something else, but the minute I have some free time to actually do projects of my own, they disappear out of my mind?

Dear child on the train demanding your ‘Grandpa Money’:

Your father may think its terribly sweet for you to be a total brat and be incredibly rude to him in public, especially when demanding money, but by god I wouldn’t have put up with it. Think yourself lucky that total strangers are allowed to admonish other people’s children.

I appreciate the fact that you visit in a group, even a small family group, and it’s hard to remain in conversation if some of you are behind each other.

That doesn’t give you licence to walk alongside each other, blocking the pavement, and then glare at me when I have to barge past you to walk down the road.

Ok, so the fabric is supposed to be hard wearing but does that mean it has to cling onto other people’s gum and noxious liquids for so long? Ugh.

Yeah, great new technology that allows me to use PDFs and keep everything electronic.

Regrettably there are still people out there who use paper, and insist on giving me reams of it to read.

Time to get a scanner, I think.

Thanks, Microsoft, for introducing IE9, which is actually a semi decent browser.

I say semi-decent as it still hasn’t managed to work on some sites, where the text is now so small as to be illegible. Yes, I’m blaming the broswer, not the sites – they are fine in any other browser.